According to Daily Kos, today is the 30th annual Presidential Joke Day. Here are some witty presidential quotations (also from the Daily Cos).
"Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day."
“Washington, DC is 12 square miles bordered by reality."
'My esteem in this country has gone up substantially. It is very nice now when people wave at me, they use all their fingers.”
"When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not guilty.'"
"There is no pleasure in having nothing to do. The fun is having lots to do and not doing it.'"
"I’m feeling sorry, believe it or not, for the Speaker of the House. These days, the House Republicans actually give John Boehner a harder time than they give me, which means orange really is the new black."
Barack Obama (2014 WH Correspondents Dinner)