Advertising Is Good For You

Kids. Can't return 'em. Might as well feed em.

Most FSIs (free standing inserts in newspapers) suck. Rarely do they look as though they were done by professional creative people. This is a happy exception.

Tripod not included

Buy a mattress, get a free video camera:

Source: The Consumerist

What "LAST & FINAL CHANCE" really means

One of my favorite magazines wants me to renew my subscription.

Actually, the magazine started bugging me to renew almost as soon as my last subscription began.

Naturally, I've been ignoring the mail solicitations.

It's part stubbornness on my part. I simply refuse to renew a subscription when I still have practically a year's worth of magazines coming to me.

It's also about money. Direct marketers typically offer the best deals in their LAST effort to a subscriber before purging the person from their mailing list.

This is the junk mail I wait for:

"LAST & FINAL CHANCE" typically means "this is the best offer we're going to make you." 

In effect, the loyal readers who resubscribe early oftentimes pay more for the same subscription than those who wait until the last minute.

It may not seem fair but it makes sense. Look at it this way: every time you ignore a renewal request, many publishers will sweeten the pot to get you to reconsider.

Junk mail fail

Going through the mail the other day, I came across a simple white envelope from one of my utility companies.

On the outside of the envelope was printed this headline:

IMPORTANT SERVICE NOTICE ENCLOSED.
PLEASE RESPOND IMMEDIATELY.

My blood pressure spiked as I read it.

I was convinced this was a statement from the utility telling me it about to turn off my service. I tore into that envelope convinced I was in for a months-long battle trying to proof that I was up to date on my payments.

My blood pressure spiked again when I saw what was inside: a letter trying to sell me an upgrade.

Direct response advertising is my specialty. No one knows better than I the importance of getting a prospect to open the envelope. BUT YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO PISS PEOPLE OFF IN THE PROCESS.

Disgusted, I threw the letter away. Then went back to fish it out so I could write this post.

Now I get the satisfaction of throwing it away a second time.

He's no hang-in-there kitten

Let's get something straight. I love animals. But I hate cutesy-wootsy photos of them.

Nevertheless, when I came across this insert tucked into my Sunday morning newspaper, amid a pile of ugly coupon ads and six sections of mostly bad news, this little guy made me laugh out loud.

If I were a small dog owner, I would definitely have felt the urge to use the coupon on the back.

 

Points off for sloppy photoshopping

Look at the tines of the fork. They're not attached to anything. (Click image to enlarge.)

Vince the Sham Wow guy is a loser? Shocking.

According to a police report, Vince the Sham Wow guy beat up a prostitute in Miami. No charges were filed, though.

Read three more things about Vince HERE.

Wrigleys gum coupon ad

There's so much to love about this ad.

It's well-written and nicely designed. The product is certainly the hero. There's no missing the great offer. The concept, with its unity sentiment, is very appropriate -- and I think welcome -- in these uncertain times.

I've already used the coupon.

  If you haven't yet tried this new packaging, check it out the next time you're at the checkout or in a candy aisle. It's very sleek and doesn't fall apart after a few days at the bottom of an overstuffed handbag.

Husky? Husky is old technology.

Power Pants with Fit-Forever Stealth.

These are steel-belted pants for men of substance. Men for whom no ordinary pants will do. Big Guys who deserve initial caps and pant technology originally developed to protect Special Forces fighting in Iraq.

I'm sort of in awe of whoever came up with the brand-name Power Pants with Fit-Forever Stealth for plus-size pants for men. Too bad everything else about this ad sucks.

Timberland knows what it's doing

North of Boston, we got at least a foot of snow over the last 24 hours. There was no school today. Many people stayed home from work.

I bet a lot of people sat in front of their computers much of the day. Timberland figured as much, too. So they sent their customers an email with the subject line, Snow today. $20 offer ends Tuesday.

Some customers may have remembered that they had received a similar email last week at the start of the promotion. Others probably assumed this was something special Timberland was doing just to take advantage of the snow day.

Either way, it was a timely email that I'm sure was well received.

By the way, the email says I can pass the offer on to a friend, so here you go: spend $100 at a Timberland store or Timberland.com and save $20, plus get free shipping, when you use promo code BUNDLE20.

Bad timing for Umi

Ashton-Drake Galleries had the bad luck to offer us a baby monkey doll the same week Travis the chimp went berserk and mauled a woman.

Click image to enlarge.

This ad ran in one of the Sunday circulars in yesterday's Boston Globe.

In the defense of the advertiser, there was really nothing it could do to prevent this ad from appearing in newspapers this weekend. Sunday circulars are created and printed far in advance. Getting the circular pulled in time would also have required the agreement of all the other advertisers appearing in the same circular.

See another Ashton-Drake ad HERE.

The bar is low for students of the Haverhill Institute of Staging and Design

I'm fascinated by the TV commercial for the Haverhill School of Staging and Design. In particular, I can't stop marveling at this line of copy in the commercial:

After graduation, you'll qualify for full- or part-time employment.

For me, that empty promise makes everything about this school suspect.

Hey, Johnny. Your dad just died. What are you going to do next?

A banner ad that caught my attention for all the wrong reasons:

Yogurt as eye candy

Two unusual things happened this morning.

First, I clicked a banner ad. Like most people, I don't even SEE banner ads -- my brain simply filters them out of my consciousness because they're typically so godawful.

The banner ad for Rachel's yogurt is different. I can't show it to you because I'm not tech savvy enough to figure out how to post the thing in this blog but it looks very much like Rachel's website.

Which brings me to the second unusual happening from my morning. In Rachel's yogurt website, I found a site that's so gorgeous, I had to keep refreshing my screen so I could watch the opening again and again. Then I called my husband over so he could see it. Now I'm telling you about it.

If you haven't done so yet, click your way to Rachel's yogurt website. It's beautifully done. The designers/art directors of this site did an incredible job.

"Try it for free."

Is the yogurt as good as its site? The website gives you the chance to find out. Click on "Try it for free," provide a little personal information, answer a few multiple choice questions and Rachel's will send you "coupons, special offers and more."