Advertising Is Good For You

Who's grandma spending Christmas with next year, is what I want to know

Order your Merry Christmas from Heaven® photo ornament from The Lighter Side Co.

I hope they know more about chickens than they do about advertising

Look at how much crap is packed into this one FSI.

I dare you -- no, I double dog dare you -- to figure out what the hell "MOBILE ACCESS" and that pixilated square have to do with the chicken.

What to get Gramps if he already has a hat that says, "Old Codger"

I'm trying to decide how many guns would have to be pointed at my head before I would actually eat this stuff

Source: Bits & Pieces

Just a few of things one can buy at shopinprivate.com

Add these to the list of products I'm glad I don't have to write copy for.

Liquid Virgin, "vaginal contracting lubricant," $9.99:

Charcocaps, "pills that cure smelly farts," $12.99 for 100 pills:

Razorba, back shaver, $29.99:

All this and more at shopinprivate.com.

More products I'm glad I don't have to write copy for:

lawn ornaments from Design Toscano

Get your pickle out of my ear

I'm hoping the warning "do not eat" is part of the fun in advertising a hamburger phone and not a directive from the legal department. Click image to enlarge.

If you're drawn to the idea of awkwardly holding a plastic burger to your ear while trying to carry on a conversation, here's a link to The Orginal Hamburger Phone website.

Products I'm glad I don't have to write advertising copy for

The Incredible Edible Anus  What kind of asshole would desecrate chocolate in such a disrespectful manner?

Hello Kitty HK-AK-47 A limited-edition firearm that comes with a hand-crocheted shoulder-stock muffler. Yours for just $1,072.95.

Mo's Bacon Bar Another gastronomic travesty. This time, milk chocolate has been laced with crunchy bits of smoked bacon.

Hardy's new Country Breakfast Burrito  920 calories and 60 fat grams of eggs, bacon, sausage, diced ham, cheddar cheese, hash browns, sausage gravy and tortilla. Yee hah!

Sources: Bisous, Glamguns.com, Vosges Chocolate, CNN 

Baby Jingles is going to be a pole dancer when she grows up

A punapalooza gussied up with pink ribbons.

Maxine Mouse is driven by hope. She's cruising for a cure. She's hitting the road to let you know the cure for breast cancer is just around the bend.

Click image to enlarge.

Must. Stop. Reading.

Milk and cookies are no longer enough. Today's Santa expects a comfortable place to...

Source: Accordion Guy   

Ad for Farting Teddy Bear: Don't look at me, I didn't do it.

From an insert in today's Boston Globe. Click image to enlarge.